Episode #: 10183
Directed by: Herb Stein
Tape Date: 10/5/05

SUMMARY: Shawn and Belle have an honest heart to heart chat about their current circumstances, Mimi has a dream (Mimi/Shawn fans will love her fantasy); Marlena and John also have an honest discussion while Alex tries to win Kate as an ally.

THE LOFT
Shawn walks around with baby Claire, putting her to sleep while talking to her sweetly as Belle watches enviously. He tells Claire how beautiful she is and how lucky she is to have Belle as her mommy. He takes Claire to the basket in his room to sleep and returns saying Claire is down and Belle figures she should get her daughter and take her home then. Shawn suggests Belle take advantage of the opportunity to go home and sleep. In tears, Belle figures she should take him up on that opportunity, calling herself an awful wife and mother for wanting that. Shawn rationalizes that Belle’s had a lot going on in her life over the last year. He makes her laugh when saying how newborns can be a challenge as they seem to cry and make smelly messes a lot. He knows she’ll be happy with her new daughter and husband after things settle down. She tells him she wants him to be happy too, just not with Mimi as she’s afraid she’d lose him forever and she can’t lose him forever. He asks if she means as a couple and she denies that. He assures her that he’d always be her friend. She wonders if it was a mistake to ask Mimi to be Claire’s Godmother if she won’t be around. Shawn says he’ll always be around, but he will find someone and have a family. She breaks down and admits she wants him to be happy, but she doesn’t think she could stand to watch him be happy with anyone but her. If she can’t have him, she’ll have to let him go. He tells her he has to accept he can’t have Belle and if Mimi insists she can’t be with him because she can’t have children, he’ll have to accept that too.

AT ST. LUKES…
Mimi prays to the Madonna and child statue, saying she can’t forgive herself for what she did, how can she expect God to, now or ever. She hears a voice saying..I’m sorry Miriam, that just isn’t true. She turns and looks around, not seeing anyone, thinking she is going crazy…calling out if anyone’s there. She hears the voice again telling her to be still and the statue comes to life, telling her not to be frightened and for her to come sit next to her…they need to talk. She offers to pinch Mimi if she needs proof it’s real. Mimi cries confessing she had an abortion and didn’t tell her boyfriend and now can’t have any children. Why would any man want anything to do with her? Mary tells her to stop wallowing with pity in what she can’t have and think about what she can have. Mimi dreams about being with Shawn and back to her happy self. She sees them sitting on the couch, now married and a little older with him in dress shirt and tie and her remembering how she had thought she had to give birth to her children to be complete. Her mom gave birth to her children and look what happened? She tells Shawn she knew they said they’d stop at four, but….and he smiles saying he’d adopt another 10 if she wanted, but they would have to move out of the loft (LOL). She knows they’re all so blessed and what would their children have done without them too? She and Shawn talk about their four children (sounds like all daughters) and how much they love them. Shawn takes her into his arms, saying he loves her too and they kiss. Back to reality Mimi tells Mary how beautiful her baby is and Mary agrees, saying she was so blessed. There are no do overs in life, but there are second chances. She assures Mimi that God does forgive her, that’s what he does, and all she has to do now is to forgive herself. Can she do that? Mimi understands that she must forgive herself if God has, as he knows best and she must love herself before she can expect others to. Mary is pleased and smiles, telling her to do so. Mimi wakes up on the pew and looks at the statue, wondering if it was a dream. She kneels at the altar and thanks the statue for making her realize she must forgive herself and maybe she and Shawn can be happy after all.

AT THE PENTHOUSE…
While John and Marlena talk outside on the terrace, inside Alex tells Kate he needs proof to show Marlena why they should end up together. Kate gave him an idea and he goes to the computer typing away, thanking her for the idea that honesty is the key. She asks him if it was love at first site and he smiles, not knowing if he could call it that. He tells Kate that Marlena is very unique and he realizes that Marlena is the love of John’s life…but if Marlena decides to stay with him (Alex), John would be available for Kate. Kate doesn’t want John to be “available” for her, she wants him happy. Knowing that Alex came out of semi-retirement to help Marlena, she figures he had a bond with her before even meeting her and asked if he’s working for the DiMeras. He denies working for the DiMeras, or for anyone else. He knows John’s had him thoroughly checked out and his life is an open book. He finishes his search on the computer and hopefully the results will come back as he hopes. Alex can tell Kate still cares for John by watching her body language. She tells him he’s reading her body all wrong and she and John are right…he’s a lousy psychiatrist. He tells her she’s lousy at playing noble and suggests she become his ally…he knows she must be tempted. Kate remembers her and John kissing passionately in the shower as Alex once again asks if she wants to become his ally. She refuses to help him and says she and John clung to each other due to what was happening and she helped him through a difficult time, but she always knew how he felt about Marlena. Alex reiterates how John will be available when he gets Marlena back.

John and Marlena chat on the terrace. She admits having deep feelings for John, but doesn’t know if they’re as strong as his for her. She doesn’t know what happened and how she ended up pregnant with her ex husband’s child. John explains how she and Roman were held captive and manipulated by Tony and Stefano DiMera. Stefano’s name rings a bell and she remembers that name as being associated with the Phoenix and how he arose from the ashes. She asks if it’s possible that he has arisen and alive out there someplace. She asks if he thinks Alex works for the DiMeras. John had Alex checked out and doesn’t believe so. She admits having a sense of comfort and trust with Alex and relieved. John reminds her that Alex is responsible for putting the negative thoughts of him in her head though. He closes the door and Marlena said she can’t believe that Alex is manipulating her. If she loved him so much, why didn’t she tell him about the baby? He explains about the situation being awkward as he and Kate had just gotten engaged. She wonders if she felt that maybe he loved Kate more than her. John, like Kate, says they got together because she and Roman were gone. She asks if he loved Kate and tear drops start falling from his eyes. She repeats herself that she needs an answer if he loved Kate. He says yes. She asks if he still loves her now and when John starts to say anything, she urges him not to answer without some thought if he’s still in love with Kate... we see Kate peering out at them through the terrace door….as the previews roll…

Jennifer to Frankie: “It’s almost like he handpicked you to take his place.”
Frankie: “He did.”

Lexie to Jack: “Your condition has worsened even since the last time I saw you.”

Mimi to Shawn: “There can be somebody after Rex.”
Shawn: “Who do you mean, me?”
Mimi nods yes.

Alex (to John, Marlena and Kate): I’m glad to see that you’re reserving judgement. I have the proof that John’s been lying to you.

As the credits roll…
Linda